bent machine production explores the

executive reliquary lunch box

One of the city games a person can play while walking down the street is to keep an eye out for unidentifiable objects. While this isn't exactly an extreme sport, it can sometimes lead to adventure.

This particular mystery object sits in front of the main Wells Fargo branch on California Street in San Francisco.

It obviously hasn't been painted in a while, but always has a padlock holding it shut.

Old drop box? Burgler alarm horn case? Reliquary? Lunch box?

I mentioned this thing to one of my coworkers a couple years back. Let's call him John. John was in his early 50s, and had lived in the city for a long time. I figured he would be about the best person to ask, I mean short of walking into Wells Fargo and asking somebody.

John had never noticed it, but promised to go investigate.

A couple months passed before John reported back. Turned out he and a buddy had been out drinking and they were driving by the bank sometime past midnight when he remembered about the thing.

They parked the car in the alley next to the bank and got out, but couldn't seem to find it, and went back to the car for a flashlight.

There they were: 1:00 am or something, drunk, creeping around outside a bank with a flashlight, right in front of the ATM cameras. (You can see where this is going.)

They weren't expecting some old security guard to sneak up and scare the heck out of them. "Hey! What are you doing?"

Whoever was holding the flashlight dropped it, and John's buddy started making for the car. John, though, explained the situation to the guard, and pretty soon the three of them were standing around the thing scratching their heads.

The flashlight was never recovered.

Thanks go to "John", who forwarded the cause immeasurably.


Everything copyright, 2000 Dave Benz

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